Thanks Adi, it is very recognizable. I usually fall into old pathways when bored or without direction. What I wonder about in this regard is the following. In holidays I usually let go a bit and choose to walk some old pathways (eating unhealthy stuff and bigger amounts) and thats ok. I go back to newer, better pathways as soon as back. It works for me. However, I look forward to these times. Not just because its holiday and because its fun but also because my brain seems to crave the unhealthy food and the unhealthy amounts even months in advance. While I know it is not going to make me happy and I know it is not good for me. It is like a delayed urge….why doesn’t this desire to overeat (even when I know it is months away) leave me?
Hi Else, this is so normal. Sorry about the long answer, but hopefully helpful to you and maybe others:
Here's the thing about dopamine - it doesn't just fire when you actually get the reward (like that holiday food). It often fires when you predict the reward. Scientists call this "reward prediction error" learning.
Think about Pavlov's dog experiment. Eventually, just hearing the bell triggered salivation because the dog's brain learned: bell = food is coming. Your brain is doing the same thing with holidays. It's learned: holidays = relaxation = treats = pleasure. So months before, your brain starts replaying that circuit. The craving isn't probably just about the food itself anymore - it's about the anticipated pleasure and comfort that it has learned is associated with 'letting go' with food.
Now the big question for you is why food became your holiday association.
Maybe eating "unhealthy stuff" or "too much" got linked historically to something emotional - maybe relaxation, safety, celebration, or freedom.
These old habits aren't just stored as behaviors. They're encoded as emotionally tagged memories. Even when your rational brain knows it's not good for you, your emotional brain (your amygdala and hippocampus) has filed it under "comfort = food." When you anticipate downtime or lack of direction (like holidays or boredom) those emotional networks light up automatically. It's like muscle memory, but for emotion.
Your brain isn't necessarily trying to recreate a taste, It's trying to recreate a feeling. And that feeling has been associated with the eating/taste/'letting go'.
Dopamine doesn't just respond to immediate rewards - it marks future goals too. Your prefrontal cortex (your planning center) and striatum (your reward center) form a loop that maintains anticipation of future pleasure as motivation.
Even if you consciously don't want the outcome (overeating), your brain still finds comfort in knowing a reward is coming, because it had learned in the past that this is a rewarding emotional anchor.
You said you know it won't make you happy and it's not good for you. That's your rational, reflective brain (prefrontal cortex) talking. But cravings live in different areas- older, emotional parts that don't respond to logic that easily.
There's a functional separation: your thinking brain understands the long-term goal, but your feeling brain remembers the short-term relief.
You can't reason a craving away because it's not an argument - it's a conditioned reflex.
Your old food pathway provided predictable comfort before, so reaching for it now is like reaching for a comfort blanket for a child. It's an adaptive strategy your brain learned to regulate emotional states. It's just outdated for your current goals.
Now the question becomes: How is this pattern serving you? And do you want to change it?
Here are some things to think about:
Option 1 - Maybe It's Actually Working for You
Is your day-to-day routine really strict so that having these fenced-off holiday times helps you stay disciplined the rest of the year? If having permission to completely let go during holidays allows you to maintain balance overall, and you're still reaching your goals - then this might actually be a system that works for you. At the end of the day what matters is what you are doing all year round, not during a couple of weeks off…
If that's the case, you can choose to keep it. There's no rule that says you have to be "on" 100% of the time.
Option 2: Shift the Balance
If it feels like you're holding on too tightly the rest of the year, waiting for holidays to finally let go, you might want to include some more food flexibility (or other emotional outlets) throughout the year. That way, the urge to completely unleash during holidays won't build up so strongly. Having a little bit of 'not so good for your food' every weekend, or when the need arises. Some people find it really helpful, for others it opens the flood gates completely, but it's something to experiment with.
Option 3: Reprogram the Association
If the pattern doesn't feel restrictive day to day but you still would prefer it to change, try using mindfulness and awareness to reprogram that emotional association.
The goal isn't to change the habit overnight or force yourself to resist it. It's to look at it straight on and have a dialogue with yourself.
Notice how you actually feel after overindulging during holidays. Really pay attention. How does each bite feel? Is there a point where additional bites stop providing pleasure? Maybe two bites give you as much satisfaction as the tenth?
Ask yourself what the behavior represents. Are holidays the only time you feel you don't have to do what you're "supposed to do"? Is eating as much as you want or choosing less healthy options associated with feeling free? With rebellion? With safety? You have the answers - and they might be very different from mine - but once you realize what they are, it's easier to make the emotional disconnect or create new associations.
Create competing associations. Are there other things you can look forward to during holidays that you only do then, but that don't feel as "negative" to you? Start strengthening those and creating new emotional associations.
Connect the dots on the aftermath. Even just focusing on the more negative feelings you experience after you indulge helps weaken the purely positive emotional connection. Make sure there's a link in your brain between the behavior and how you actually feel afterward - not just the anticipated pleasure, but the actual result, so your brain is less likely to crave it.
The intention isn't to think about this once and have it magically go away. It's to slowly weaken the existing associations or create new ones over time. To dim the intensity of the emotional reward you used to associate with this behavior.
But here's the most important thing: all of this is only relevant if you want to change the behavior. If it works for you and you're still happy and able to reach your goals, then you've found a system that works for you - and that's perfectly fine.
You get to decide if this particular strategy still serves you or if you want to teach your brain a new one.
Thank you for your elaborate answer. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense. I just wish I would stop craving quantity of food (instead of quality…I could live with that). I understand that like all other matters related to this topic also that will not come without putting some effort into it.
Please keep posting, I am learning from your posts and I enjoy reading them.
Thanks Adi, it is very recognizable. I usually fall into old pathways when bored or without direction. What I wonder about in this regard is the following. In holidays I usually let go a bit and choose to walk some old pathways (eating unhealthy stuff and bigger amounts) and thats ok. I go back to newer, better pathways as soon as back. It works for me. However, I look forward to these times. Not just because its holiday and because its fun but also because my brain seems to crave the unhealthy food and the unhealthy amounts even months in advance. While I know it is not going to make me happy and I know it is not good for me. It is like a delayed urge….why doesn’t this desire to overeat (even when I know it is months away) leave me?
Hi Else, this is so normal. Sorry about the long answer, but hopefully helpful to you and maybe others:
Here's the thing about dopamine - it doesn't just fire when you actually get the reward (like that holiday food). It often fires when you predict the reward. Scientists call this "reward prediction error" learning.
Think about Pavlov's dog experiment. Eventually, just hearing the bell triggered salivation because the dog's brain learned: bell = food is coming. Your brain is doing the same thing with holidays. It's learned: holidays = relaxation = treats = pleasure. So months before, your brain starts replaying that circuit. The craving isn't probably just about the food itself anymore - it's about the anticipated pleasure and comfort that it has learned is associated with 'letting go' with food.
Now the big question for you is why food became your holiday association.
Maybe eating "unhealthy stuff" or "too much" got linked historically to something emotional - maybe relaxation, safety, celebration, or freedom.
These old habits aren't just stored as behaviors. They're encoded as emotionally tagged memories. Even when your rational brain knows it's not good for you, your emotional brain (your amygdala and hippocampus) has filed it under "comfort = food." When you anticipate downtime or lack of direction (like holidays or boredom) those emotional networks light up automatically. It's like muscle memory, but for emotion.
Your brain isn't necessarily trying to recreate a taste, It's trying to recreate a feeling. And that feeling has been associated with the eating/taste/'letting go'.
Dopamine doesn't just respond to immediate rewards - it marks future goals too. Your prefrontal cortex (your planning center) and striatum (your reward center) form a loop that maintains anticipation of future pleasure as motivation.
Even if you consciously don't want the outcome (overeating), your brain still finds comfort in knowing a reward is coming, because it had learned in the past that this is a rewarding emotional anchor.
You said you know it won't make you happy and it's not good for you. That's your rational, reflective brain (prefrontal cortex) talking. But cravings live in different areas- older, emotional parts that don't respond to logic that easily.
There's a functional separation: your thinking brain understands the long-term goal, but your feeling brain remembers the short-term relief.
You can't reason a craving away because it's not an argument - it's a conditioned reflex.
Your old food pathway provided predictable comfort before, so reaching for it now is like reaching for a comfort blanket for a child. It's an adaptive strategy your brain learned to regulate emotional states. It's just outdated for your current goals.
Now the question becomes: How is this pattern serving you? And do you want to change it?
Here are some things to think about:
Option 1 - Maybe It's Actually Working for You
Is your day-to-day routine really strict so that having these fenced-off holiday times helps you stay disciplined the rest of the year? If having permission to completely let go during holidays allows you to maintain balance overall, and you're still reaching your goals - then this might actually be a system that works for you. At the end of the day what matters is what you are doing all year round, not during a couple of weeks off…
If that's the case, you can choose to keep it. There's no rule that says you have to be "on" 100% of the time.
Option 2: Shift the Balance
If it feels like you're holding on too tightly the rest of the year, waiting for holidays to finally let go, you might want to include some more food flexibility (or other emotional outlets) throughout the year. That way, the urge to completely unleash during holidays won't build up so strongly. Having a little bit of 'not so good for your food' every weekend, or when the need arises. Some people find it really helpful, for others it opens the flood gates completely, but it's something to experiment with.
Option 3: Reprogram the Association
If the pattern doesn't feel restrictive day to day but you still would prefer it to change, try using mindfulness and awareness to reprogram that emotional association.
The goal isn't to change the habit overnight or force yourself to resist it. It's to look at it straight on and have a dialogue with yourself.
Notice how you actually feel after overindulging during holidays. Really pay attention. How does each bite feel? Is there a point where additional bites stop providing pleasure? Maybe two bites give you as much satisfaction as the tenth?
Ask yourself what the behavior represents. Are holidays the only time you feel you don't have to do what you're "supposed to do"? Is eating as much as you want or choosing less healthy options associated with feeling free? With rebellion? With safety? You have the answers - and they might be very different from mine - but once you realize what they are, it's easier to make the emotional disconnect or create new associations.
Create competing associations. Are there other things you can look forward to during holidays that you only do then, but that don't feel as "negative" to you? Start strengthening those and creating new emotional associations.
Connect the dots on the aftermath. Even just focusing on the more negative feelings you experience after you indulge helps weaken the purely positive emotional connection. Make sure there's a link in your brain between the behavior and how you actually feel afterward - not just the anticipated pleasure, but the actual result, so your brain is less likely to crave it.
The intention isn't to think about this once and have it magically go away. It's to slowly weaken the existing associations or create new ones over time. To dim the intensity of the emotional reward you used to associate with this behavior.
But here's the most important thing: all of this is only relevant if you want to change the behavior. If it works for you and you're still happy and able to reach your goals, then you've found a system that works for you - and that's perfectly fine.
You get to decide if this particular strategy still serves you or if you want to teach your brain a new one.
hope this helps x
Thank you for your elaborate answer. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense. I just wish I would stop craving quantity of food (instead of quality…I could live with that). I understand that like all other matters related to this topic also that will not come without putting some effort into it.
Please keep posting, I am learning from your posts and I enjoy reading them.