9 Ways to Fall in Love with Exercise (From Someone Who Hated Exercising Her Whole Life)

How small shifts in thinking made movement something I actually choose to do and even enjoy...

I am not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime recently the thought flitted through my mind as I was working out at the gym: “I enjoy this...” and it was so shocking and so foreign to me that it stopped me in my tracks. Yes, my name is Adi, I am 48 and I no longer think of myself as someone who hates exercise. And for me that’s a huge thing.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve always loved exercise. For most of my life, it felt like something I “should” do rather than something I wanted to do. And I would proudly proclaim how much I hated it. How, if I could get away with it, I would never exercise again. But miraculously, at some point over the last couple of years, that’s changed. Not through force or discipline, but due to small shifts in how I think about movement and how I approach it.

I thought it might be useful to share the things that worked for me. Not rules, just strategies and small shifts that made exercise feel less like a chore and more like something I actually choose to do.

1. Make It Not About Burning Calories

You’ll notice that exercising “in order to burn calories” or “to lose weight” isn’t the focus here. For years, exercise was something I needed to do to lose weight. Someone else might get away without exercising, but I needed to, so that I could burn food calories. It was never done consistently, it was done as part of a bout of trying to lose weight, as part of a new year’s resolution or to “start exercising.” I hated every moment of it, specifically the cardio. But hey, that’s what you needed to do to burn the most calories, right?

The biggest shift I made was to stop associating movement and exercise with calorie burning. Once that wasn’t the objective, I could start looking at movement differently, choosing a form of exercise I enjoyed more and trying to examine how I felt about it.

And yes, it’s nice to know that by walking or lifting I’m burning calories and yes, it’s great to know it’s a wonderful way to support weight loss. But focusing on doing this to lose weight just makes it feel like a temporary and restrictive tool.

Thinking about movement as empowering, as something I get to do (even if it doesn’t feel exactly like that when I need to get out of the door), makes it something I do for a multitude of reasons that have nothing to do with weight loss (and the calories burnt are just a side perk).

2. Reframe It as Me Time

Instead of seeing exercise as one more task on my to-do list, I started thinking about it as an opportunity to spend time away from all of life’s other demands. A sort of “me time.” An opportunity to unwind or connect with myself in a meaningful way.

When I walk, it’s time to relax and think. Time to invest in my peace of mind. No one is asking me for anything, no screens, no demands. Just me, my thoughts, sometimes listening to a podcast I enjoy or some music.

When I go to the gym, it’s time to engage with my body, to feel the endorphins kick in, to focus entirely on myself for an hour. I often listen to music I enjoy or something I never got round to listening to (a video in audio form, a podcast, a training).

In a life where it sometimes feels like you’re constantly juggling a never-ending amount of balls, this is time that’s just mine.

That reframe made it feel less like an obligation - something I should be doing or need to be doing - and more like something I get to do. A gift to myself, and made me more likely to want to go.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Do Less

One of the most powerful things that worked for me was to give myself permission to do as much or as little as I felt like doing and moving away from an all-or-nothing mindset.

Some days all I can pull off is a short walk around the block. Some days I go to the gym and do as much or as little as I feel like. If I’m not feeling like doing that really hard exercise I hate today, I don’t. If I feel like all I can do is reduce the weight or the reps, that’s what I do.

Yes, it might be less optimal than the ideal protocol to build muscle and progress, and in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with the latest research on how many reps, sets and weights are ideal for achieving the perfect body composition, it feels hard to do the opposite. But I made a decision early on that the only thing that matters for me at this season of life is to find a way to enjoy movement enough so that I can keep doing it, consistently, in the long run.

Because this is for life. Not for a period, not for a goal.

Especially at 48, it’s very clear that movement needs to be a forever thing. So my priority is about sticking with it and enjoying it over optimising.

Some sessions I go all out. And as far as intentions go, yes I am aiming and trying to lift to failure, to increase weights, to target all body parts. But if I don’t feel in the mood at all, I allow myself to cut corners in a conscious way. And that permission slip means I’m not giving up completely, I’m not dreading going, I’m able to show up consistently. And more often than not, I end up feeling better for it and going full force anyway. I made this my new life-changing mantra: something is better than nothing.

4. Make It Enjoyable

Music really gets me moving. So every time I hear a really rhythmic tune that makes me want to move, I save it to a special playlist on Spotify and only listen to it in the gym, whilst exercising.

I save podcasts I really want to listen to for my walks or gym sessions only. Tying those two things together - something I want to do with something I might not be that keen on doing at the moment - created a connection in my mind where I actually look forward to exercising because I get to listen to that tune or that podcast, and that’s enough of a pull to start moving.

This was especially powerful in the beginning. I would wait to go out on a walk so that I could continue listening to the audiobook, or get to hear the podcast. Moving was just an excuse to go do that thing I enjoyed and could only get to do whilst exercising. I know clients who saved TV series episodes to only watch whilst walking the treadmill, or for you it might be having that special latte at that special place after the gym, or an opportunity to chat with a friend whilst walking. Anything works. The idea is to create a positive enough association, or a pull, so that your brain now craves doing the activity because it wants that other thing (creating a high reward value for something which might not be as rewarding right now).

5. Pay Attention to How Good You Feel After

During stretching and cool down, when I’m walking out of the gym buzzing, I really pay attention. I fully, mindfully focus on feeling the good feelings afterwards.

This helps my brain fully understand and upregulate the reward value of exercise. It’s the same principle as the mindfulness practice with food - I’m giving my brain some positive data about how rewarding this behaviour actually is, in an attempt to raise its reward value which for years has been very low (this is painful, annoying, not fun, I’d rather watch some television...).

6. Understand the Benefits

Really educating myself about why movement matters helped a lot. Going way beyond “this is burning calories” (very few calories, at that).

Strength training makes you look leaner aesthetically as your body builds muscle. That’s a nice perk. But more importantly, especially at 48, it changes your neurology, helps with menopause symptoms, builds bone density, increases metabolism so you burn more calories at rest, improves insulin sensitivity (so you store less fat and burn it more easily), reduces inflammation, and supports better sleep and mood.

Walking is one of the best and easiest things you can do for weight loss, maintenance, and general health. It reduces stress, improves cardiovascular health, helps regulate blood sugar and so much more.

A massive study of 1.2 million people found that those who exercised had 43% fewer days of poor mental health per month compared to those who didn’t. The benefits showed up across all types of exercise, with the sweet spot at around 45 minutes, three to five times per week.

Another recent study following over half a million people found that meeting WHO-recommended physical activity levels gained people an additional 1 to 2 disease-free years between ages 40 and 75. Not just living longer, but living without heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, cancer, or chronic lung conditions.

Really knowing what movement does for your health and wellbeing is a very strong incentive to just get moving. In whatever shape or form feels appealing.

7. Find External Nudges

I have a dog. Her name is Millie. She loves running in the woods. I take her on my walks and she gets to run around as happy as can be.

On days when I’m not feeling that keen to go outside, I look at her and remind myself that she would love nothing more than to go running. Sometimes, it’s the push I need to go out or to keep going for longer. I feel like I need to think of her as well.

Sometimes going to the gym or doing some exercise at home is about modelling a certain healthy behaviour for my kids. Showing them what keeping promises to yourself looks like. How important movement is.

These are small things. They aren’t usually enough to get me moving in the first place (and they don’t work every time). But added to everything else, sometimes they’re the small nudge needed to do it when you don’t want to.

8. Change Your Identity

Whilst definitely still a work in progress, thinking of myself as someone who enjoys moving instead of someone who hates exercise has helped.

I spent years telling myself how I hate to exercise. Once I consciously changed that narrative, it helped me make choices from a place of “this is who I am” instead of focusing on how much I hate to move.

When I think about it, my identity for years was: I hate exercise, I’m doing it because I have to.

Changing the story made a difference. And changing the story didn’t mean fooling myself when I couldn’t be arsed to go. It meant building a new narrative about how movement makes me feel good, it’s a chance to connect with myself, to focus on me, to do things I enjoy, and how it’s changing things in my body and mind for the better.

So with all that in mind, I now see myself as someone who enjoys movement.

9. Make It Easy

I have some weights at home. So when I’m not feeling like going to the gym, or it just didn’t happen that day for whatever reason, I can do something short and quick instead.

I try to go to the gym, after dropping my kids at the coach, when i am already out of the house and moving.

The easier you make it to start and do something, the more likely you are to actually do it.

Nothing in the Above Is Magic

Some days I feel genuinely excited to go to the gym. Other days I have to remind myself of all these things just to get myself out the door. Some days I get there full of motivation, ready to conquer the world. Other days I drag myself in, with zero motivation.

The difference is, I don’t quit anymore. I don’t give up when I miss a week or when I have a session where I phone it in. I just keep going, at whatever pace feels manageable.

There is value in just showing up. More often than not, you find your motivation in the movement, not before you head out. And the more you keep doing it, the more of a habit it becomes.

And increasingly, unbelievably, more days than not, I actually look forward to it.

I would love to read in the comments what helps you stick with exercise? What’s your one tip that made a difference in your ability to keep moving?